Love you enough-a short story.

 LOVE YOU ENOUGH

                                      -Maithili

Mia rang the doorbell. She had taken an appointment for a psychotherapy session last night and was standing at the doorstep for just the same. She clenched her fist unknowingly, her heart was pounding with inhibition of opening up to a stranger, but frequent nervous breakdowns had left her with no other option. Olivia opened the door, held it for her and gestured her in. "You must be Mia?"

"Ya I registered on your website last-"

"Last night, I know" said Olivia smiling at her with compassion, something about her was very appealing.

Olivia showed her to the room that was converted into a splendid office inside her average sized but beautiful apartment.

The walls of the office were bedecked with sanguine quotes and poems. Mia read a few to fill the time till Olivia came back with a glass of water and juice.

'Life is tough my darling, but so are you!'

'Today, choose not to stress over things you can't control'

'Welcome to today: Another chance, feel free to change'

Olivia interrupted the reading session and asked Mia to feel free to sit in the couch if she liked. Mia did so, she had already began feeling quite comfortable by the time.

“So what prompted you to seek therapy? Before you answer this question I want you to know that you are not expected to give me the details you’re uncomfortable sharing right now, we’ll slowly get along together."

"Ya"

"Also the form you filled out online tells me that you’re disturbed by a messy breakup, so if you could tell me about how you feel right now or something about this relationship that you might wanna share, this is your safe space” Olivia said while stifling her temptation to ask about a bruise on her wrist.

“Ya, this guy, I met him at the club, he treated me with love, ya, most of the times. He took me to places I like, for lake dates, movie dates, dinners, and some days we would just stay home and talk about stuff. He had a dating history, considerable number of girls, believe me, but he told me those were all dalliances, and he never went on real dates earlier. I believed him, not just because he said so, his actions, his gestures proved it.”

“So apparently, you are the only girl he ever loved?”

“No, not apparently, obviously, ya, it was obvious with his manner”

As her therapist, Olivia asked other introductory questions like if she had done therapy before and what she wanted to accomplish in therapy.

 

Olivia had an amiable and warm style of treating and they often walked together barefooted on the grass in the Harold Boas gardens. One hour sittings everyday went on for quite some time.

“I’m the only one he told about his childhood to. I know why he was what he was, yet I’m choosing separation” Mia broke down to tears, one March morning.

Olivia gave her a comforting hug and asked her “If he treated you like the only one then what pulled you apart, what hurts you so much, share this wound with me, do not let it eat you within”

“Ya, that day we got into a quarrel, the reason was petty, I can’t even recall what we were arguing over, but all of a sudden he punched the wall with vigour, he was so exasperated. In his loudest voice he told me to shut up, he hit me, slapped me, shoved me out of the room violently, but more than his rage, him normalising his expression of aggression disappointed me. I left him, but since that day, everything I see reminds me of the sweet things he did for me, I had seen him talking to people, the most discourteous man you’ll see around, but he was polite to me, well ya, almost always.” told Mia almost whispering.

Even after a month of breakup he was still trying to get in touch with Mia, just after she completed her word, her phone rang.

“It’s him” she screamed in despair and flashed the screen of her phone before Olivia’s eyes and then declined the call. The contact name read KYLE accompanied by a picture of a brown-eyed muscleman of about 24 with voguish tattoos all over his upper body.

Olivia couldn’t believe what she saw, her face became conspicuously pale, she gulped, it was her own brother. Protocols had never allowed her to ask about the personal details of Mia’s boyfriend, neither was she especially interested until this very moment. She concealed the fact from Mia and let the hour go by normally.

 

Olivia rang up her brother and asked him to meet her at Bistro Bellavista. They hadn’t spoken since last Christmas when they had discussed about how Perth was the best place all over Australia to celebrate Christmas and how lucky they were to reside there.

At 4:17pm, Friday when Olivia was already at the restaurant a tall man with a sturdy built showed up. “Hey Oliv, what’s the matter, your invitation sounded rather urgent!” said Kyle while pulling back a chair to sit down.

“What are you doing these days?”

“Well, nothing, have plans at the club tonight” he replied in astonishment.

“And how’s your romantic life?”

“Why d’you wanna know that?”

“Isn’t that what siblings do?” she said simultaneously.

“Okay, well then, I’m with Ava, I mean it’s a fling thing” he said after clearing his throat.

“Since-”

“Since a fortnight Oliv, what do you want?”

“I know about Mia” she claimed bluntly.

“Who told you about her” Kyle was thunderstruck, he thought for a second and continued “Oh god, don’t tell me you’re her therapist.”

Olivia gave him a stilted grin of agreement.

“I help people heal, and my brother goes around leaving women not just physically but mentally abused, couldn’t have been more ironical!”

“Well, I’m not interested in taking this discussion further” he got up from his chair and turned towards the door.

“Don’t run from this Kyle”

“Oh, I’m the one running?” he pivoted back and banged the table, not hiding his fury anymore. “Where were you when that man we respectfully call father tortured our mum? We didn’t even grow up together Oliv, isn’t that what siblings do?”

“You know I spent my childhood in the hostel, how is that my fault?”

“You ran away to the hostel and left me behind in that abyss to fall. I’m so certain you don’t even remember what living in that house was like. And if you weren’t with me in hell then, don’t tell me I’m a demon now, and if you really wanna know who runs from troubles, don’t look at me, seek the mirror”

“You know it’s not how you’re making it sound like”

“And you know it’s not how you’re making it sound like either, it’s like addiction, I don’t consciously do this to women around me, it’s in my system, not something I have control over.”

“But that still doesn’t justify you degrading women-“

“Who said I’m justifying anything? Next time you see me trying, remind me not to. There’s no point because my sister, who is so well equipped with empathy that she can help strangers heal can’t even understand her own brother, couldn’t have been more ironical, isn’t it?” with this Kyle left.

 

Olivia was replete with utter remorse and opened the truth about her relation with Kyle to Mia and assured her of Kyle’s commitment and love for her. She lamented over her ignorance of the situation of her family and its impact on her brother. Mia had mixed feelings about Kyle’s fling, somewhere it hurt her but she also saw that he only sought a prop in Ava to bear with his life.

 

Together they resolved to do something about his situation. After conferring with Olivia, Mia came to the conclusion that only knowing the consequences of his father’s lifestyle could inspire Kyle to want to change his ways. After gathering enough details she left the city to visit his father.

 

Sunday morning Kyle jolted awake. "Another nightmare" he sighed breathlessly. Nightmares had become ordinary, but never failed to haunt him about his past. This dream provoked a line of thoughts which was soon interrupted by a phone call. It was his colleague he regularly went clubbing with. "Yes Harry" said Kyle in a usual tone. But Harry seemed to have no time for a conversation starter, he was apprehensive and vexed. "You couldn't keep this girl too!"

"What do you mean couldn't keep, it was a casual thing between us, she wanted more, I didn't, last night I ended it. What makes you talk about it at 6 in the morning?" Kyle was perplexed.

"Well it seems it didn't end on a friendly note, since this one has ended up with the police and has reported a rape"

Kyle tried to shout "What!" but choked, reached out for the side table by the bed for support, his hands shaking, a glass hit the ground with a smash. "I didn't do it, I know I was stoned and all but I didn't do it"

"I'm afraid, I might be the only one who believes you, I mean she has got all the proof you know and your history of violence isn't a secret too, last night did you-"

"Yes I hit her, pushed her, but I didn't rape her Harry, you have to trust me"

"I do, but that isn't enough you know"

Kyle called Ava, holding his phone in his slippery sweaty palms, after a few missed calls she picked up, "Why would you do this to me, what do you want?"

"Why does anyone do anything? I want money, 150000 AUD is the price at which you walk free”

“So why did you want a relationship with me?”

“Money, I would’ve got it the easy way as your girlfriend, but you deserve this Kyle, a man like you should be taken care of by law because a man like you certainly won’t have a family to do that, I’m just doing you a favour.” Ava hanged.

These words were a thunderclap to Kyle, a grim realization and gloom dawned upon him, his phone fell off his greasy palms and he held his head in his hands. It seemed to him that all the dark blue walls were closing in on him. Ava's voice echoed in his head.

 

 

Harry informed Olivia about the circumstances, who in turn talked to Mia. Kyle resolved not to settle this matter by cutting a deal with Ava as that would make him look guilty. He was determined to fight to set things straight in his life. The legal process began and police was convinced about the allegations, enough to take the case to court. Ava had a criminal history related to fictitious allegations and trivial thievery, which gave Kyle an edge in the proceedings. Also Harry testified in his favour in court and Olivia’s opinion both as a sister and a psychologist was of importance.

 

When Kyle was just lazing in his bed about an hour before leaving for the trial at court he began thinking about how it must have broken Mia’s heart to hear about this suit. He supposed that she might never talk to him or even see his face again and this broke his heart. His musing was brought to a halt by the sound of the doorbell; a parcel had arrived for him. He had a feeling in his bones to unpack it immediately and he did. Inside was a family photo from his childhood in a little frame along with a letter which read:

“With all that I have done, it doesn’t look good on people like me to rant about right and wrong, so I won’t even attempt. But I need you to know that when I was your age I fell in love with a beautiful girl and soon we got married. She gave birth to my two adorable and innocent children, my tiny lovely family was complete; I was complete. But that was not all, as the man of the family I assumed authority and power over my wife and didn’t hesitate pushing her once or twice if we got into a quarrel or when she made an error, nevertheless I loved her. It kept increasing, from shoving to hitting to strangling to what not, but you must not doubt I still loved her. Not hard to guess I reached a degree at which she couldn’t live with me anymore. My whole world came clashing down on me. My male ego tore my tiny lovely family apart; tore me apart. Today the love of my life lives away, I’m blocked on my children’s phones and they would refuse to see my face. I’m loathed with such resolution that the only way to contact my child was through a parcel. I don’t want to tell you about right or wrong, I just want to tell you that I loved your mother, just not enough. If you live your life with contempt, you never live it enough. If you love someone and don’t respect them, you can never love them enough.”

 

Kyle went to the court and found out that Mia had come to testify in his favour. Though by now it had become almost impossible for the prosecution to validate a sexual assault, he could still be convicted for domestic violence. But Mia lied about her experience with Kyle to veil his abusive behaviour. Kyle set a tenacious gaze on Mia the whole time in court and didn’t budge it for a single moment. Ever since he read the letter, he had been absolutely numb. No thoughts, no emotions, just numb. And after he saw Mia still trying to help him out he just knew he would do anything to change what he is to keep this thing with Mia but he had to be true to her and himself to attain this.

“That night, with Ava it wasn’t a rape but it was domestic violence” Kyle confessed in court, still staring right into Mia’s eyes which became rheumy on hearing this.

The judge announced the verdict after considering Kyle’s confession, Ava’s bogus accusations, Mia’s statement and other witnesses and evidences. Kyle was given a restraining order and was put on probation for 6 months.

The Fairbridge music fest had commenced and Olivia proposed an outing with Mia and Kyle to celebrate the verdict. That evening when the three of them were sauntering amidst the best sounds of the world and Olivia went to the side to take a phone call leaving them alone, Kyle looked in Mia’s eyes and came down to his knees. “These tattoos, these six packs, these muscles exist only for the purpose of belying the truth about my internal desolation. Everybody falls for this façade Mia, apart from you. Yours are the only pair of eyes I couldn’t fool and don’t want to. Inside, I’m weak Mia, only redeemed by your unconditional concern and affection. I’ll do anything to keep you. I want to become a better man for you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I know, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you Mia and I love you enough” a teardrop fell from his eyes. Mia came down on her knees, hugged him and began sobbing too. Olivia, though done with the call, watched from a distance, unwilling to spoil their moment.

Kyle started taking therapy and worked on his relationship with Mia and in the course of time he thrived in all spheres of life.