Letter to Ma- a poem

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Letter to Ma



Ma, you know me, I bawl my soul out and I’m falling apart as I write

I scream “why” in the sky, and I cry myself to sleep at night

Ma, there’s an emotional whirlwind in the life of your little hurricane

But I guess the price for embodying love is paid by enduring pain

 

You know me, I dive headfirst knowing the waves could get rough

Ma, I gave him my everything and somehow it still wasn’t enough

My romantic life seems to regularly test me until I shatter

It was my birthday Ma, and he didn’t show up like I didn’t matter

 

And it got me thinking about the standards Dad’aa set

He gives me time and attention even as the most arrogant man I have ever met

Empties his bank account on me and doesn’t even keep score

It would break him to see me settle for someone who must be asked to open my door

 

But the hollow of my heart yearns for an intimate touch

When I come home no one hugs me and greets me with a, "I missed you so much”

Today, this cold quiet eats at me and whispers “You’re all done”

You know me, I love my life for no reason Ma, but today I need it to give me one

 

I stomp my feet in frustration, so weak I drop to the ground

I lose myself to the bowels of my emotion like I would never be found

You know me, I act on my impulse Ma, and on a whim, I set him free

Treats me poorly once, shame on him Ma; I let him do it twice, shame on me

 

And I know my life is magic Ma, and trust me I try to focus on what’s sweet

A Mom who raised me to be fierce and kind; a Dad who’d take a bullet for me in a heartbeat

A profession that nourishes my spirit, friends that describe me like I’m some fairy

The loveliest brother, a gorgeous mind, I’m still guilty of finding life scary

 

It’s like being thirsty in a desert, following a mirage you cannot resist

I want out for I’m tired of chasing the water that doesn’t exist

This malaise isn’t characteristic of me, I usually love my life, it’s lovely

But today, my anger needs an outlet and Ma, today, I need my life to love me

-Maithili

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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