Magical Mess

I didn't give you birth  because I know you're already here in every child who has cried in my arms in every baby who sought me in fear in my instinct to protect from harm the little kids who crossed the road  in my desire to fill with my attentive presence  each heart that acts out for attention  you're in my first grader's effervescence like mummy, you're not tame you don't have my complexion or last name  you don't have daddy's eyes or DNA but I don't need that to know you're mine  like I did your daddy, I recognize you by your flame I see you in play, you're with me everyday  you're the lake and the tree you're an extension of me my baby you're my world and my world is my ba-by -maithili  

 YOU have known me since my first breath perhaps long before that YOU have seen every dance spectated each thought  witnessed all intention you have lived my innocence basked in my presence  you've held me through each battle I fought you are but my extension   So then how is all this tension  Rage and PAIN mine to carry now relieve me of it now save me, hold me  cradle me now I'm your baby and I'm weak in my knee Dear life, go easy on me -maithili 

 घर लौटने की दिवाली तो केवल श्री राम की थी  सीता का तो अयोध्या केवल कुछ वक़्त का ठिकाना था  मिथिला से निकलीं वो विवाह कर के  उन्हे अयोध्या से भी जाना था  पत्नी धर्म निभाया और वन में कुछ वर्ष बिताए  बड़ी प्रतीक्षा के बाद लंका से निकलने का समय आया  जो साक्षात सत्य हैं और प्रेम की प्रतिमा  उन्हे न मिथिला ने बुलाया न अयोध्या ने अपनाया  स्त्री राह के इस मोड़ पर स्वयं भूमिपुत्री को भी आना था  धरती से प्रकट हो कर फिर धरती में ही समाना था  जब न पिता सुरक्षा कर पाए, न पति ने सम्मान दिया  तो फिर ऐसी दिवाली का क्या अर्थ है जब सीता स्वयं बंजारी बनीं  तो सियापति के नाम के दिए जलाना व्यर्थ है  मुझे मैथिली से ही अपना नाम मिला मेरी भी कुछ गृहस्थियां हैं  मगर घर की खोज जारी है पति है एक तरफ, परिवार है, और तीसरी ओर स्वतंत्रता  इस तिहारे के बीच खड़ी नारी है तुम्ही बतादो धरती अब फिर कोनसे घर जाऊं  तुम्ही बतादो इस बार दिवाली कहाँ मनाऊं  -मैथिली

My joy creates yours Your misery clouds my days I cannot smile if you're in pain You can't be anxious if I'm at peace We're all just one piece Of this bigger puzzle I alone created this world This world continues to make me My domino is compassion  It falls for the better good of all of us Don't let this be for vain I love the next person  And you do the same -maithili 

 I am chosen  like a natural choice like the river chooses the ocean like the moon chooses the earth like the bird chooses flight like the cheetah chooses chase like the logistics don't matter  once a choice is made I am a choice made with ease And if it's not easy to thee Do not choose me -maithili 

 we create a mosaic  with all the shattered pieces  of our home every squabble a tessara with every stand and shared laughter and play sacrifice  commitment to live in love and the rebellious act of choosing peace an image so enthralling to see our broken family  made of whole people  -maithili 

 I learn of a dimension beyond words a language of silence  something novel, and dated primal, yet sophisticated  I am a woman of language  my service my sentences and yet I fell short today to all that you didn't even say just our initials carved on the bench and all the pricey meals paid for just two arms around my waist  and several kisses on my face just my hair being brushed and my body gently washed a long drive to pick me up  just some tea in my cup so much has been said without any exchange of words like the hummus wrap for a better diet  in your world of quiet  -maithili 

 I sit back in divine trust stringing words with leisure  writing them as they come no haste to be done only the desire to be nourished by the flow to let go to be smitten  as the verse is being written  to breathe in its beauty  to pour in it all the time it is taking  to breathe out there is no doubt  that we're an elegant poem in making  -maithili 

  a grip loose enough so I can be but tight enough so I am held enough words to know wisdom enough silence to know comfort close enough to the shore to know safety far enough to savour the lake immersed in the present enough to picture the future we can make   my shoulders drop my body leans back my feet go up as I bask in your leadership I glow as I soak in your gorgeous grip -maithili

  I infuse my essence   into my writing for when my presence is no longer accessible when my playful dance and appreciative glance have gone to dust with my beautiful body and fulfilling life on this earth for when I retire from all my roles a sister, and a wife no longer a daughter, or a friend when I transcend and reunite with mother universe let me touch you with my verse like a breeze that can’t be seen know me for my formless spirit that is spread across your being I’m expressed as the same cosmos that created your heart let yourself be elated feel my love you’re still seen and you’re heard in my word I present my present to your world -maithili

  I can see the ocean in your sunglasses and the leashes in your hand my arms around your neck and my bare feet in the sand   I exist in truth before your eyes there is nothing to hold back I am silly and wise at the same moment I give you my hyperactive and my slack   I am clumsy and intelligent I’m the life of the party and I meditate I like the nights when we cuddle on the couch and I like to be taken on a date you ask me if I love you and I most lovingly nod I’m not a religious person but you make it easy to believe in God.   no limitations to what is accepted here no 9-5s, no alarms no constriction of time, body, and place no doubt, I become freedom in your arms -maithili

in my completeness, I hold you on my finger like a purple sapphire I move naked, because you are my attire in my playfulness, I hold you on my ankle like diamonds in my joy, I carry you in my lungs like breath in my softness, I let you beat in my chest like my heart in my wisdom, I announce the inevitability of our coming together as that of the river becoming one with the ocean -maithili

as the layers peel away  as all the veils fall you're left with nothing but your bare existence  with all the anger and fear that get trapped inside your body the more you deny and run from them what you witness without judgement you can hold ever so gently in your hand without attachments without the pressure to become something positive  in the realm of energies you just are you are accepted with all of your insecurities and fears and loneliness  as soon as they get your audience; your kind presence  they start melting on their own account  having accomplished what they had come for: Your attention  -maithili

 yesterday, I was scared alone today, I come home yesterday, I sowed some love today, I shall reap yesterday, I was high on life today, I am deep yesterday, I asked “who am I meant to be?” today, I came full circle back to me -maithili

I knelt down in the library to pick out books from the bottom shelf I lost awareness of my body and time; even the library itself like in a temple or a mosque you take a moment to bow to the infinite wisdom beyond your understanding I am brought to my knees by this palace of knowledge that can elevate me if I allow -maithili

  I will write some words down and reveal myself to all that is aware I hold sunshine in my skin and carry stars in my hair I have lived a lot of lives but I am most alive in my writing my words capture the essence of my soul unbeknownst to even me I am my own guiding energy one with the wind and waves there is infinite wisdom in how nature behaves we forget sometimes but I shall now remind you we humans are nature too -maithili

  life to me is what the ocean is to Moana a friend, a guiding light, a calling a safety net when I’m falling it was purposefully orchestrated what appears to have happened by chance life has been nothing but one beautiful romance the sacred secrets of life were coded into my DNA I have always known night to be a harbinger to day I have always seen storms as wise teachers I have intuitively known them to pass every time I have always stopped, smiled, and been grateful for sunshine I have given out my love to people who needed it, knowing I can always manufacture more I have ventured out in the ocean, knowing that when it’s time, the waves will guide me back to the shore I have faith in life, like Moana in the ocean I dance with emotion like Moana with the waves my heart is open to all the strange and surprising ways in which life behaves how could this be so novel and nostalgic like I never understood, yet always knew since I was a child to mas...

  I must be a breathtaking verse because he reads me like I’m the most exquisite piece of writing ever written visibly smitten he keeps me by his side like his favourite book experiencing joy in deciphering every word I have never been heard like this I have never been read with a passion like his I have never relied on a man like I rely on him I swim where I previously drowned I smile where I have formerly frowned I light up where I have been dim and he basks in my light he beams in my delight he is breaking a curse as he highlights his favourite verse I have nothing but gratitude for this universe -maithili

  in a different world money could be greed and guilt money could be fear and frustration money can be the reason someone engineers their own destruction but money responds to the character of who partners with her she enhances what her companion already stands for so, in my world, money is contribution to my touch, money transforms into freedom money becomes love when I share it with loved ones money becomes metal because I’m magnetic  money becomes confidence when I invest in my style money becomes romance when we go on vacation money becomes abundance when I dream big -maithili

my spirit was never bound by my limbs a feral mind inside a skin that has tried her best to blend with the rest I have known myself to be alone for as long as I can remember not lonely, just solitary just a rhythm that no other cognition can fathom dancing to I sway and move and spin outside of my skin with the swiftness of a falcon so much so that my body is catching up to what my mind has already embodied wealth is seeking me for the freedom I already practice  the world is catching up to what my spirit has already created circumstances are being orchestrated for the joy I already feel there is no pain that cannot heal and no problem that cannot be solved by an evolved spirit -maithili