Magical Mess

  Miss decisive picture from: @pazel_global Miss decisive, Miss complete clarity, uff, I needed a break Letting myself make bad decisions is the best decision I’ll make   Sabotaging my relationships with people who love me most Crying all day and spending my night raising a toast I hate nightclubs here, but drinking is in trend Getting the digits off that Spanish guy to only be a friend Expecting the world from people who never cared Not taking my stand where I should’ve ’cause I’m scared Being beset by the drama I could’ve easily avoided Sulking because of something stupid a random boy did Sleeping close in this best friend’s bed tonight Sharing everything on my skin while concealing my internal fight I haven’t processed anything since my life switched gears I’m choking on my tainted self-esteem and overpowering fears I’ll be left alone because I confuse people But when you have no one, you can’t lose people This year, I’ll be shamelessly reckless and this year I won’t ...

 The mess that I made picture from: @omario2d I was afraid to say That I was slipping away Till I couldn't force myself back anymore And so I cut all ties Almost like I burnt him alive Now I'm hollow b'cause guilt ate up my core Just like my favourite song That I've been singing along But got so sick of it that I can't anymore Swore I'd protect his heart Said 'till death do us part' But stabbed and twisted where he was already sore But if the sun deserves to shine, if my intentions weren't malign Take all the pain from his heart and pour it in mine This is my prayer for him, bring love and hope to the betrayed Don't punish me by punishing him for the mess that I made It killed me everytime I lied And now I'm dead inside Can't carry the weight of love anymore I hope he takes it slow Beg him to let me go For he deserve better than an attention seeking whore The love of his life Wish I could be his wife But I can't even be myself anymore...

 Manic Depression Hey, my name is bipolar disorder But you can call me manic depression You're not aware of my existence yet But I'm here to leave an indelible impression I was given to you by your father And have been dormant within your genetic design Now I'm awakened by that traumatic incident After being asleep in you for 25 years of time Now that person is hurting you And you're slipping into the dark I'm whispering some hopelessness and insomnia And forthwith, on a depressive episode you embark I murmur anger and hostility in your head Until your brain is in my control I provoke some uncontrollable crying In an attempt to destroy your fragile soul Messages of fatigue and worthlessness  Injected in you but just before you explode I give you extraordinary euphoria and energy And it marks the commencement of your manic episode Your train of thought becomes so swift You're unable to match pace Your skyrocketing delusional self-worth  Feeling like you're an...

 My pieces I'm leaving, but I'm also leaving pieces of me for you to trace Like sunshine reflects in the tan on your face I am leaving but I'm also leaving you our relationship's scent Through the foot I set in wet cement Some are bad memories like your car dent It would constantly remind you of that metaphorical accident Others are like my fingerprint in your phone Would probably make you cherish how our bond has grown A few pieces of me are beyond what you are seeing For they are just a part of your being You know why little things have become a matter for you I'm not answering, for I'm sure you have a clue Your body is dripping hot and you're exceptionally fit You think I might have something to do with it? For me , you kept your condescending guile so far That respectful innocence has just become who you are Maybe you think I just wanna leave my scrap pieces in the past But I'm actually taking the shiny temporary and leaving you what would last So do...

Green Wonderland  I let myself be drawn into the alleys of this unfathomable land I let myself loose and walk to explore, to only find there's always more We're obsessed with distant places; neighbourhood masterpieces appear bland So I chose to ramble in this roadside structure, following the rutted sand My tongue tastes the elegance of the dew drops on every surface My sense of touch elated by the breeze; as far as my sight goes, trees Birds' chirping form background music bringing the grin to my face The scent of fresh air of ecstasy hits my lungs and leaves an indelible trace This place is mysterious and comes up with new ways to mess with me Everytime I visit, here and there it shuffles, one path or a couple I roam around to navigate the river, but instead get lost in the sea As I walk, this infinite track is what I look at, but it's inspiration that I see -Maithili

 One bonus day I've been banging on this door of my new world for so long And when it's finally time to step through, something feels wrong If this is what I've always wanted then why is something shattering within I promise I won't fail you god, but just give me one bonus day with him Always dreamt of being emotionally independent and resilient to pain But give me the chance to tear up inside his safe hug once again I'll need him to hold me when I'm drowning in fear I promise I'll go where I need to, just give me one bonus day here I hate video calls and my voice is never sufficient to make him understand And so I'll tell him I love him looking in his eyes, caressing his hand Imagination kisses won't bring him hope amidst realities grim So before he is on his own, give me one bonus day with him His mirror always shows us together so I'm packing it along I'm taking his late-night confessions and I'm packing every song I'll pack his to...

  My first story Love is the most bewildering and yet the most enchanting subject of all times. The lack of clarity in understanding love only adds to its allure. It surprises even those who have spent their lives believing that they know in their minds what exactly they are looking for. Despite its enormousness and ubiquity, the uniqueness of each story prevails. There are always new thoughts and feelings and unanticipated circumstances to discover that lead to people’s unification or separation. Some anecdotes of romance display peace, satisfaction, tranquility, and stability. In such tales, there is only seldom or no room for quarrels and discomfort. Here things are constantly ecstatic owing to a consistent show of fine behaviour by at least one of the two people in the relationship. I have had such an experience once which I do not regret. Mine is a simple story of coming across someone at school and witnessing the deepening of that bond until it eventually isn’t just friendshi...

Waiting for You   I’m going to sleep hoping I’ll be aroused in the middle of the night, by a phone call, by your phone call. I don’t have time left and in the left time I have; I wish to inhale your mad love in every breath. The clock is ticking and I don’t mind arguments as long as you still stay within the reach of my desperate touch. Don’t go away, for once I leave, I might never come back. I’ve crawled too long hoping this labour will be over soon but confusion and despondency come up with new excuses to exist.   Now I am devoid of all energy to speak and so listen to my tears for they are the only voice I have left. You say you don’t want to talk to me and you’ve assured there are no means left for me to contact you and so I’m waiting. I’m going crazy waiting for you. I check my phone more often than necessary and when I don’t, I hallucinate my ringtone because the idea of speaking to you has rented a corner inside my head. I obsess over the wait ordinarily and when I d...

Inconsistent Love You make me comfortable in my naked body and embrace each colour of my naked soul You dotingly caress all the traits that I carry and softly kiss every mole Your abrasive tone gets on my nerves and you speak the most vicious words I've heard So replete with rancour and romance, you're so absurd You sprinkle stardust in my blood and plunge a poisonous dagger in my bones Shattering glass panes of my heart, you're those seraphic hailstones I'm the sole person whose acquainted with your tears and vulnerability You've made me cry more than anyone, your volatile temperament leaves no room for stability You're an adorably uxorious boyfriend until, out of your life you shove me Oh, you make me so addicted to how you inconsistently love me You dive into the depths of the ocean that I am and decipher all my metaphors It wouldn't bother me if someone else said those things but I'm beset by your slurs With you I can be my bubbly childish self and a...

 Walk To Our Home When the summer sun reflects from the ripples of the lake And we dare to kiss with the sunset on stake I'm never getting enough of this dusk regardless how long we roam I live 10 miles away but you choose to walk me home Let's walk away from city clamour and traffic jam hubbubs Let's walk away from commotion of the loud music clubs Wanna piggy back by the river-side and hold your hand under the rain After capering away from you, I'll look back once I'm down the lane I want us to dance along the tree tunnel street Amble by the meadow and babble memories bittersweet You don't avert your eyes from mine yet saunter with me on the right road When all at once I just stop to admire this love we've been bestowed Forthwith my envision knows no limits and I begin to fancy a future poetic Unconcerned if I'm just dwelling in a fool's paradise or being prophetic I envisage nothing more than a world within my violet dome I envisage nothing more t...

I can't write The last piece of my dessert is melting on my tongue And I can't switch this remix to the song I always sung I used to focus on a thought and paint a poem out of its colours But these days clarity is invisible and I'm lost in the blurs I'm overwhelmed with emotions and notions infinite, so much so that I can't write I want to understand each ordinary person's unusual grind But each step forward feels like I'm leaving something behind Struggles bring luxury, pain teaches peace and gloom finds glow Why does introspecting myself involve letting my loved ones go I'm overwhelmed with the idea of being alone while boarding the flight, so much so that I can't write                                                -Maithili

 Made for this world The world in running in a race to nowhere Deadlines heard in each head like a siren blare The stranger in the adjacent car not worth a stare Sleepless nights, working to leap ahead of nobody Whereas, She's the paper documentation trivialising crease Delineating all greens and yellows of ordinary trees Passing a soft smile to each comforting breeze Her bizarre shimmy and self talk comprehensible to nobody Every graduate desperate for occupational stress The world lost in the pages of the atlas Aching heads but no loved one to caress Familiarity with celebrities but family to nobody Meanwhile, She is fond of spending hours in a mirror room The floor is for conversations, the ceiling to groom Front mirror for hair, back wall for the costume Magnanimous to all but gives a damn about nobody The planet is rotating too fast to grasp Every ear shut to emotions' rasp Submerged under a time tide, lucky to have a moment to gasp Time saving technology yet a second to s...

 Weep Less Tonight Last night when you shut the door & in the corner of the room you stood, Amidst of gazing out and your shushed shout I hope you didn't lie to yourself, you were good For you gotta accept that feeling so as to purge it So let your anxieties soar, your anger roar Like clouds have to let it flow if they want the lakes to submerge it What cascaded through your eyes was the darkness inside your head Allow yourself to cry, let it be a lullaby That put you to sleep until another morning ahead Today when you open your eyes, go out & hear the dew drops echoing vitality Don't stifle your laughter, not today, nor hereafter Sprint on streets, swallow air & imbibe the moment of immortality Dance, sing & sweet talk to yourself, look in the mirror it could be such a sight Break through glass ceilings and express your feelings Do everything to make yourself weep less tonight If misery whispers she's tougher, but this moment you can't surmise it's ...

A girl who writes If you visualize being deep in love, if you want long walk nights If your love's pure and intense, be in love with a girl who writes She'll drown in the slush of words to be back drenched in snow She'll tell such things about you, you yourself wouldn't know She won't talk too much as she'll write for you for hours Extraordinary expression of love, she'll get you poems not flowers If you're ready to put in tremendous effort and hold on when things ain't right If you wanna be the protagonist of a book, be in love with a girl who writes                                                                                                - Maithili

  LOVE YOU ENOUGH                                       -Maithili Mia rang the doorbell. She had taken an appointment for a psychotherapy session last night and was standing at the doorstep for just the same. She clenched her fist unknowingly, her heart was pounding with inhibition of opening up to a stranger, but frequent nervous breakdowns had left her with no other option. Olivia opened the door, held it for her and gestured her in. "You must be Mia?" "Ya I registered on your website last-" "Last night, I know" said Olivia smiling at her with compassion, something about her was very appealing. Olivia showed her to the room that was converted into a splendid office inside her average sized but beautiful apartment. The walls of the office were bedecked with sanguine quotes and poems. Mia read a few to fill the time till Olivia came back with a glass of water and juice. ' Life...

What is love? But before answering this, tell me what is a river? Explaining love is as hard as explaining what a river is to someone who has been blind by birth and has never seen a river. The first thing I do when somebody says 'river' is visualize it. And someone who has never seen it, would never grasp it enough as I do. While explaining it, I'll always fall short of just the right words to make another person comprehend what exactly a river is and how it looks.  Now tell me who is God. Or for that matter, what is God. A logical mind might deem it a power and hence would need a definition to actually comprehend what it is, how it impacts the world and other things associated with it. But in a palace of faith, especially in a country like ours where god can take several names and faces and forms, god is who they is. In such a sense, the question becomes objectionable. Despite of all the advancement in science and technology, what is god is still an objectionable question...

Who am I? (A dilemma woven into a poem) Am I the delicacy of a royal princess Or the might of a wrathful tigress Am I pure and bare like an open book Or the enigmatic depth of a meandering brook I'm capable of an argument rendering you speechless But I may choose to sit in a corner and cry Who am I? Am I preferring safety in my fortress Or stepping out as indomitably fearless Am I the protected jewel of the palace's chest Or the uncrowned queen of the forest I'm timidly polite and obedient to authorities unless They challenge my courage to defy Who am I? Am I chasing perfection under duress Or am I an unapologetic mess Am I the eyes that bow down to his majesty Or the verdict denying the hunter amnesty I'm mature enough to know that I only got myself With the childishness to yell complaints at the sky Somedays the intricacy of the universe is easy to demystify Other days I don't even know who am I!                         ...